Windows Server 2019, 2016, 2012R2 defaults Windows Updates to DOWNLOAD AND INSTALL and there is no obvious way to change those settings.  Here is an easy way to set Windows Update as you see fit:

  1. Open a CMD PROMPT as an Administrator
  2. Type SCONFIG and press ENTER
  3. Type 5 and press ENTER
  4. Type M for Manual (or D for Download Only) and press ENTER

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